Family

Robert W. Meyer 
1928 - 2021

He Didn’t Have to Be                         

When I was eight years old, Robert W. Meyer entered my life.  My mother, brothers, sister, and I were operating in survival mode after my father left home and filed for divorce.  Mom met “Mr. Meyer” (Bob) while working as a secretary at my elementary school in Indianapolis.   Bob was a middle school band director who visited the elementary schools once a week to recruit new band students.  Bob and his children were also feeling the effects of a bad divorce when his wife walked out.  My mom and Bob began to date and, one year later in 1974, were married.   All of us kids from both families were a part of the ceremony.    

In August of 1999, country singer and songwriter Brad Paisley released a song which hit remarkably close to home for me.  “He Didn’t Have to Be” speaks of a man who becomes devoted to a young boy’s mother, and also embraces his role as father to the boy himself.  When the man comes into the lives of mother and son, the song writer reflects:

“And then all of a sudden oh it seemed so strange to me

How we went from somethings missing to a family

Lookin' back all I can say about all the things he did for me

Is I hope I'm at least half the Dad that he didn't have to be”.

The song mirrors my life very closely.  Bob came into my life when I was very young and was committed to raising my younger brother and me as his own.  Even though he really had no obligation to invest so much of his life into ours, Bob gave of himself unconditionally.  Because of his sacrifice, we have both grown to raise families with that same devotion.

I spent many years dealing with the stigma and emotional trauma from my parent’s divorce.  But as I began to build a family of my own, I came to realize what a gift I received in Bob.  I passed the same life lessons on that he passed to me.   I attempted to hold true to the same values and credos he represented.  If it is possible to “inherit” mechanical ability and musical skills from a stepdad, I did.  Most importantly, I will always carry with me a deep commitment to my faith in Christ.

It can be exceedingly difficult to get your head around the idea, that someone can make such a sacrifice for us.   God’s sacrifice for us is explained in Ephesians 2:8:  “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God…”  We certainly haven’t done anything to deserve eternal life with our Creator…it was a gift.  It was a gift given through Grace!

On May 8, 2021, Robert W. Meyer passed from this life into eternity.  I can never repay what he has given me.  I can never measure up to what he did for me.  But…. I will try.  As long as I live in this world, I will try to be the man he was.  You will be missed, Bob.  You were loved.

Bless Others.

Be Blessed.